So Yesterday & An Awkward Fit

I don’t read a lot of books, until last year.

I was browsing through the Central library (my uni has 4 libraries) when I found this book - ‘So Yesterday’ by Scott Westerfeld.

Scott has a rather odd way of perceiving things and in this book, he describes the world as how he perceives it and it actually make quite a lot of sense! He earns money from giving opinion on the latest advertisement especially when it’s about shoes. In this book, he was a boring “follower” until he met a girl and strange things start to happen. He found himself, together with the girl doing things he otherwise wouldn’t do from breaking in to bleaching his hair.

And their mission was to find Mandy who is Scott’s employer. Once you start reading, it’s hard to put down the book. It’s a bit addictive, but I was a bit disappointed with the ending!! Well, the ending wasn’t as I expected!

The book also makes me understand how red eye reduction mode on digital camera works, and why the royal colour is purple.

It took me only about a week to finish reading the book - I only read it when I’m on the bus one the way to and back from uni.

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While searching for books to do my assignment, I found, ‘An Awkward Fit’ by Helen Maczkowiack. Everything in the book happened in South Australia so I can connect to it really well. It’s a shame this book is printed in limited copies and I think it is only available in South Australia.

If you try google-ing the book, you wouldn’t find anything.

Stephen is Helen’s only son, and growing up, he was the kid everybody loves. He was a humble boy who does not judge or discriminate. He connects with people from young to old. He loves the world, loves life and loves everyone. However, he had a mental illness - he had schizophrenia. He found it really hard to fit in, and Stephen is a perfect example of a man being in a wrong place at a wrong time. He is the reason why I am passionate about mental health because it is damn bloody unfair.

After many years of struggle, Stephen decided to end his life at the age 29. In the book, Helen wrote about how she brought up Stephen and about Stephen’s life. And in between chapters, she also included some entries from Stephen’s journal. It’s such a shame Stephen had to go through that path. I believe that every one who deals with young people with mental illness - social workers, chaplain, ministers, counsellors, parents, etc - and everyone who thinks that people with mental illness are crazy SHOULD read the book.

Volunteering with Reach Out!, I’ve always known that suicide is a huge and significant issue surrounding young people. But it was not until earlier this year when I heard a personal account of a suicide survivor that I knew, suicide *is* super important. And Helen just makes me want to do even more to reduce the prevalence of youth suicide.

I ended up a mess when I reached the end of the book where Helen got the news of Stephen’s death and the whole funeral part. I can almost feel her pain, and wanted to give her a hug right at that very moment. So, I sent an email to her right after I finish reading the book to arrange for a meet up and an interview with her. I know I have to meet this lady! And I really do hope she checks her email.

It’s a shame schizophrenia destroyed Stephen’s life. A young man who has so much love to give.

“We’re all afraid of the dark, but morning always comes. I see the sun and I smile. My heart, my soul, my thoughts I searched to make some sense of it all. I searched for direction and purpose, but found it not. I looked to others for guidance and counsel, and found that no one really knew the answer.

I felt uneasy and could not hide it from myself, I became resentful at times towards those who tied to suppress my search and tell me not to create disruption to their lives but they knew not what they did because of their ignorance and lack of insight, no matter how clever and intelligent they were.

From my frustration at no answer came depression. Maybe mine was to endure and push on, making little dents and fixing small holes.

It seems to me according to my eyes and ears that ‘nothing is right, nothing is wrong’ - it just is. Passion writes these words and love is its strength. If only success gave me the opportunity to exercise this strength. My love does not die’ it just finds a new home. Now, because you read these words, the love inside me lives on in you!

I love my mum, my dad and my sister.
I love my nephew, grandmothers.
I love my family first, and then I love everyone! I pity those who don’t love everyone! And feel anger towards those who love no one but themselves. How sad.” - Stephen Maczkowiack

If your friend tells you that life sucks, tell them where to to go -> www.reachout.com.au GIVE DEPRESSION THE ..|..

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